Who can make Edward lose control?
by MsGirludontknow
Summary: Ed is back from the gate. His temper isn't though. Maes proposes a bet to see who can get Edward riled up first.
1. Chapter 1

Ok so I'm new to writing at fan fiction because posting stories is so overly complicated and since i don't have my computer my parents can see exactly what I'm doing so it's hard to write smut in front of them.

Anywhooo . . . Please review! Hopefully good reviews, but bad ones are ok too, although for the sake of my poor low self-esteem I highly recommend positive ones.

I don't own FMA because then I'd be happy and we can't have that.

Not Beta'd sadly, so I apologize for any and all bad grammar, syntax, the works.

There will be sex in the future because if you're in the M section that's what you looking for. I'll try to stay in character but I might fail on occasion. I apologize for rambling, please R & R.

* * *

Edward sat at a desk in the library surrounded by large stacks of books. He was hiding from his brother Alphonse who was -trying and failing- to set him up with Winry Rockbell.

Edward sighed once again as he thought about it. His hand-picked up a pen, which he led to his mouth and bit. A bad habit he'd picked up from his brother.

His thoughts went back to Winry and her sudden love confession. Suffice is to say that he was not expecting it. She'd suddenly come up to him and screamed," I love you, you Idiot" then she'd thrown a wrench at him so hard he'd fainted. Yeah, that was exactly the way to get him to like her. Actually, it wasn't that he didn't like Winry, it was just, she was like a sister to him. There was no way he could ever see her in a romantic way. Plus, he didn't want to get hit with a wrench every time he did something wrong.

The truth was that Edward had never really considered anyone in a romantic way. He was too preoccupied with the homunculi and getting his brother's body back to notice people enough to fall in love with them. All these years he'd never had to worry about people developing feelings for him. Everyone saw him as a kid brother or a son. He was too young for them to see him as anything more, and he'd liked it that way.

Lately though, since his return from the gate, people were starting to notice him. He'd grown up. He was more mature, he understood the world better now, and yes, he'd grown a few inches. And perhaps, his newfound maturity and age were attractive to people.

He hadn't really noticed at first, the stares, the blushes, the pointing and whispering. He wasn't really a feelings kind of guy. He knew they only led to ruin. Missing his mother had led to losing his brother's body. His love for Winry had led to her capture and use as a hostage. He'd put her in danger by caring for her.

Still, he should have noticed it. He shouldn't have let his distance from his emotions cloud his judgement of others, he should have prepared. Instead, now he had to deal with an angry, wrench throwing Winry and a jealous brother who would do anything for his brother even if it meant losing the only woman he'd ever loved. Why women thought that abusing men would make them like them he would never understand. Then again he couldn't really understand how his sweet, calm, younger brother could fall in love with such an abusive woman.

He first noticed the attention at the library. The librarian had spent a whole hour flirting with him, a man had tried to pick him up, and coming out of the library women had asked for his number.

Ed had been so confused, thinking it was a practical joke from his brother or Maes, but no, these people where genuinely interested in him. He didn't know why, though. Other than growing a few inches his looks hadn't really changed. Sure, he filled out shirts a little more and his arm and leg were back ,but you couldn't really see that with his clothes on. He didn't want to believe people were that shallow anyway.

Was it that he was legal now? The time spent on the other side of the gate passed faster than the time here. By the time they'd gotten back Edward was twenty-five. Winry only nineteen. Being with her would make him feel like a pedophile. Seven years had passed on the other side of the gate, while here, they'd only been gone for one.

Ed sighed again, his jaw tired from nibbling on his pen for so long ,he set it down. It was covered in little bite marks going up and down the pen in random patterns. He was so immersed in cataloging the damage he'd done that he didn't even notice when someone walked in behind him.

"What did that pen ever do to you Edward?"

Ed nearly jumped out of his skin. As it was, he let out a very unmanly squeak and fell out of his chair, bruising his ass in the process. Edward would know that amused, condescending voice anywhere, The Colonel.

"What the hell, Colonel? Make some goddamn noise! You're like the freaking death!" he yelled, brushing himself off and standing up, annoyed that the Colonel hadn't even offered a hand, especially since it was his fault Edward had fallen. He sat back in his chair and turned to see the Colonel. The bastard was smirking -as always- his lips tilting up in that annoyingly knowing smile, the same knowing smile he'd always given Edward, and the same knowing smile that always gave him an uncomfortable feeling and frayed his nerves.

The Colonel's face momentarily displayed a flicker of surprise, making Edward realized that this was the first time he'd yelled since his return from the gate, the Colonel quickly masked his expression though, and responded

"I don't think making noise is appropriate in a place like this." he grinned slowly and almost purred as he said, "I would think that seeing as how you spend so much time here you would know the rules of the library by know." Ed's teeth grinded, something about the Colonel's weird tone almost making him blush. He was not in the mood to fight with the colonel.

The bastard was the one who'd found Edward and his brother after their return from the gate. Then again seeing as how they'd arrived in his office it wasn't all that big a deal. Still, the Bastard had come out looking great, "Roy Mustang finder of the Hero of the people".

Finding Edward had given him an opening back into the good graces of the military. The Bastard had even roped the brothers back into the military, forcing Edward into signing a contract and becoming a state alchemist once again. All of that made the Colonel number one in Ed's shit list. The Colonel had played them; manipulating his brother and him for his own personal gain. And now, the Bastard was here patronizing him in his only safe haven.

Edward hated being looked down upon and the Colonel had his condescending tone down to a T. Ignoring the Colonel's word's, Edward just grinned wide, showing of his canines.

"What are you doing here Colonel Bastard?" he asked suppressing his grin and making sure to keep his expression blank and his tone neutral.

"Just some research, oh and also... " for a second Edward almost felt afraid, the look that crossed the Colonel's face was downright evil. Glinting eyes, knowing smirk, and amusement scribbled all over his cocky face, "your brother's outside", he said, his face adjusting to allow a quick flash of canines, much like Edward had done ealier, somehow Edward knew he hadn't done it quite so menacingly, "he said he's waiting five minutes before he comes in to get you. Something about, accepting a certain Winry Rockbell's proposal. I didn't know you were getting married, am I invited to the wedding? Then again you'll probably be knocked out from a wrench, so it probably won't be that big of an event, not that we would have been able to see you anyway, what with your little height problem. No pun intended, of course"

Edward almost attacked the Colonel right then and there. Since his return from the gate Ed had been... passive. He no longer fell into his fits of rage, his temper just wasn't the same. He had a higher threshold for annoyance.

Everyone noticed, they all tried -rather vigorously- to get him out of control. Mentioning his still less than average height, forcing milk down his throat, and even going so far as to sing "Edward and Winry sitting in a tree".

Still, Edward remained calm, throughout the teasing and mocking. He no longer had to holler and flail everytime he something annoyed him. The only person that could even come close to making him lose control was the Colonel. Something about that infuriatingly knowing smirk and the patronizing tone always pushed Edward's buttons. Making Edward's old tantrums bang against the surface of his body, demanding release, waiting for Edward to give out just a little, so they could pounce.

Something inside him always held them back, his outbursts had caused him many a problem and now that he was older he wasn't really in the mood to get into fights. Especially with the Colonel, so Edward simply ignored the Colonel instead he counted to ten and dug his fingers into his palms knowing he would have little red crescents to trace later and finally he was able to calm down.

He sighed once again, knowing he needed to get out and see his brother before Alphonse kept his word and came to get him,or before the Colonel said something that would make Edward finally crack, and shoved him against a wall, or through a wall, or both. He didn't wan to get in trouble though, his head already ached at the thought of the future wrenches that were going to be thrown at his head, he didn't need another migraine from his brother's lectures on the effects of letting his temper rule his actions.

Edward realised he needed to get away from the Colonel and his teasing but still he took his time, procrastinating, he didn't want to face his brother so soon.

"Since when are you an errand boy?" he asked, his head tilting to the side, and his hair which he now tied in a ponytail, sliding annoyingly onto his shoulder.

For a second the Colonel faltered, his eyes displaying an emotion Edward couldn't identify, then he quickly covered it up, masking it with the annoying smirk once again. One of these days, Edward thought, I'm gonna smack that grin right off his cheeky face.

Finally he answered.

"I was being nice Edward. I can be nice "

Edward didn't like the colonel's tone it was oddly. . . nice and even a bit sad, like he was remembering something he'd rather forget. Edward didn't like this side of the Colonel, it made him feel even more uncomfortable than when the Colonel teased him.

The Colonel just didn't do nice, it was... unnatural, he decided. The Colonel could do cheeky bastard and even kiss-ass bastard when he really wanted something, but he did **not** do nice and definitely not with Edward Elric.

That combined with the weird show of emotion, his sad tone, and the fact that his grin was back full power like it was trying to make up for lost time, did nothing for Edward's nerves, all in all, Ed was feeling very uncomfortable. Very Very Uncomfortable.

After a long pause Edward finally replied,

"No, no you can't Colonel.", and with that Edward left, leaving the Colonel staring at his back as he walked away .


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so chapter two.

Again M for sex in later chapters, no beta although someone was nice enough to help me out with the first chapter, so thank you to you. Thanks to my reviews. Your comments are much appreciated! Please continue to support me with your positive feedback!

YAOI!

I don't own FMA cuz then I'd be happy and we can't have that...

Please Review! And feed my poor low self-esteem.

* * *

Roy Mustang was sitting down, his trademark smirk in place as he watched a flustered alchemist try to evade the pursuits of his automail mechanic. He was at Edward's and Al's welcome back party. The whole thing had been organized by Winry, which was probably why it was taking place in a club.

It was almost too much, Roy thought. He couldn't help but smile at the look of part fear, part annoyance on Edward Elric's face, as he tried, rather unsuccessfully, to pry a drunk Winry Rockbell of his body.

The girl - who for some reason was really getting on the Colonel's nerves - had tried to get fullmetal to dance for about half an hour. Edward kept getting away each time. Disappearing to places unknown, until finally, a few minutes ago, his brother had blackmailed him into dancing. or at least that's what it had looked like. Now she stumbled and leaned into Edward, her face getting extremely close then backing away.

Edward looked so awkward on the dance floor, his face contorted into a grimace as he tried to discreetly steady Winry. His gaze kept flicking toward Winry's hands as if anticipating a blow from her ubiquitous wrench.

He really wasn't a bad dancer, thought Roy. He's actually quite good, the way his body moved rhythmically to the music, hips swaying slightly, never once stepping on Winry's clumsy toes. Then again, Edward was good at everything he tried.

When he'd found out that Winry had confessed to Edward he was shocked. Not by her sudden confession (everyone had seen it coming), but by Edward's obtuseness. How was it that he hadn't noticed her longing stares, and flushed red blushes. The way she would rub herself against him, always finding excuses to touch him, and fly into fits of rage when he talked to other women. It was actually sad how romantically challenged Edward was, thought Roy. His head was resting comfortably in his hands as he pitied the poor bastards who fell in love with Edward. He chuckled darkly as he imagined Ed's poor lovers. Actually, he really didn't like the thought of Edward falling in love with anyone. He wondered idly if this was how mothers felt when their sons were stolen away by some wrench throwing hussy. Annoyingly, his musings were interrupted by a loud call.

"Ro- oy! Come dance with me and little Elysia! She wants her uncle Roy!", Roy flinched as the shrill voice reached his ears. Maes was calling to him, his arm spasming in the air as he tried to catch the Colonel's attention.

"Come have some fun!" he screamed "This is a PA- ARR- TAY!" really, thought Roy, Maes looked ridiculous as he waved frantically at Roy.

The Colonel just ignored him, his eyes instead moving to the woman a few feet in front of him. She was small and light. With blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was looking at the dance floor, but perhaps sensing his gaze, turned around and after taking in his looks and tailored suit, smiled alluringly at him.

When he smiled back the blonde started walking toward him, hips swaying the way Edward's had while dancing. Where was Edward anyway?, he thought. Roy didn't see him on the dance floor anymore. He looked around but found no trace of him. Finally, shaking his head mumbling something about Ed being able to take care of himself, he turned toward the blonde who now looked annoyed. She was standing in from of him, hands on her hips.

"What'ya lookin at?" she asked, her voice too high for Roy's tastes, and tilted her head the way Edward always did when he was thinking. Something about the action looked wrong on her. Edward did it better, he thought.

In fact, now that he thought about it the blonde in front of him did look a lot like Edward. The same small stature and blonde hair, except Edward's was prettier, more golden.

Wait. Did he really just think Edward's hair was pretty and why was he comparing him to this female.

Now that he thought about it, lately he'd been thinking about Edward a lot.

Why wouldn't he though?, he argued, Edward had just come back from the gate. It was only natural for the Colonel to think of him.

Finally, convinced, he wasn't becoming insane or extremely paternal, he turned to the blonde woman in front of him who looked like she was losing interest.

"Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down", she tried, skipping over the fact that he'd ignored the original question.

Roy motioned to the seat in the booth next to his, "be my guest" he said smiling his trademark grin and soothing her wounded ego, she sat down. Her legs immediately pressing against him and rubbing. Her hand reached to caress the inside oh his thigh, but he quickly slid away.

"Yunno" she said, ignoring his rejection "I've actually heard a lot about you, Colonel Roy Mustang. You dated a friend of mines once" she looked up at him then, her body had quickly melded against his again without his notice.

"Is that so?" he asked, his voice seductive despite the fact that he wasn't really in the mood. He had to keep up appearances though, it would do no good if Roy suddenly stopped talking to women.

"she said you gave her some of the best orgasms of her life" the woman said, her voice low and sultry. Roy smiled, but he really wasn't feeling into it, in fact Roy was feeling oddly uncomfortable.

Usually when women acted this way with him he took them into a restroom(yeah public restrooms are gross, but it was the only private place) and fucked their brains out, but since Edward's disappearance Roy hadn't really dated.

He'd felt so responsible. He was Ed's mentor, after all, and he hadn't been able to protect him. He'd been useless and had let Edward and Alphonse be sucked back into the gate. The guilt had been staggering. It had clung to him, reminding him of his own shortcomings each and every day. Never letting him rest.

He'd pulled himself together though, cleaned himself up and started working on a way to get the boys back. Not resting until the day they'd appeared in his office.

Roy sighed, the woman was now rubbing herself on him, and Roy was starting to get annoyed and worried. He hadn't seen Ed for a while now. This was his welcome back party, where was he?

Okay, now Roy was really annoyed, the woman at his side didn't know when to quit, she kept grinding herself on him despite his objections. Finally, he got up, leaving the woman huffing and puffing indignantly at his rejection. Wow, women really never took rejection well.

Roy was looking around the room for some sign of Edward. He couldn't find him anywhere and his panic flared, he couldn't stand losing Edward again. He was just about to go and find Riza when he finally spotted him, coming in from the club's entrance. Where had he gone, and why?

Ed seemed distracted and worried. His eyes flicking back and forth between Alphonse and Winry, Roy was just about to go find out why, when an arm came out of nowhere and wrapped around his shoulders. Pulling him away from Edward and into a back room in the club. He was just about to flip the asshole who'd grabbed him over when he realized it was just Maes. Maes-

who was swinging his hips and chanting in an unnaturally high voice,

"Secret bet. Secret bet. Let's all make a secret bet." Roy couldn't even tell if Maes was drunk or not, his weirdness was an all the time thing that didn't really rely on alcohol. He sighed again trying to get away, but Maes just clung harder. Letting all his weight fall onto Roy as he led him to a black door.

When Maes opened the door of the club room, Roy found Lt. Hawkeye, Falman, Breda, Havoc, Fuery, Ross, and Sheska. They were all sitting around a table placing bets. On what, Roy hadn't really figured out yet. He'd been wondering where they'd run off to.

Finally after standing in the doorway for a few minutes Maes finally saw fit to explain.

"We're betting" he said, his tone making it clear that yes, he was indeed drunk.

"I can see that" replied Roy, his voice expressing clearly his annoyance "on what?"

Maes sighed, letting Roy know he thought Roy was the epitome of stupid for not being able to figure it out.

"On who can make Edward lose control, of course". For a moment Roy's head went straight to the gutter. He pictures sweaty bodies grinding and his cheeks flushed bright red. He cleared his throat, trying to disguise his discomfort, and in a voice that sounded completely unnatural replied,

"Wh- What do you mean?"

"Ughh... Oh my god Roy, how can you be so dense? Don't tell me you haven't noticed." Roy frowned.

"Noticed what?" he asked, genuinely confused

"You know!" accused Maes, his finger jabbing at the Colonel's chest "He's been all... calm and what not!"

"So?" asked the Colonel, clearly exasperated at Maes' inability to explain coherently.

"So it's fuckin weird!" he yelled practically spitting in the Colonel's face. Then he looked around, his face showing clear signs of paranoia, and leaned into the Colonel conspiratorialy "It's not natural." he whispered. Blowing hot air into the Colonel's ear.

Roy frowned as he wiped his now tingly ear.

"So let me get this straight. You guys are betting on who can make Fullmetal lose control first?"

"Well, Give the boy a prize!" yelled Maes, once again spitting in Roy's face.

Well, he was never letting Maes get drunk ever again.

Roy thought about it. It was true. The last couple of days Edward had been passive, since he'd come back from the gate he hadn't ranted, not once. He did yell that one time in the library, but other than that he'd been completely... composed. Despite the efforts of all his colleagues who'd poked and poked at Ed's height, milk phobia, and attraction to Winry. Ed had remained calm and controled throughout the experience, never once allowing even a smidge of what he was really thinking leak onto his, almost too calm demeanor. The Colonel was actually a bit annoyed by it.

He... kind of missed the old Ed.

He could admit it, teasing Ed had always been one of his favorite pass times. He loved the way Edward would turn red as a tomato and then scream his head off yelling about his height. The way he sputtered and flailed as he refused milk and the idea that there could ever be anything more than platonic love between him and Winry.

Roy wanted to see that side of Edward again. The side that went crazy and rambled aimlessly, making big deals out of nothings.

A calm Edward wasn't really Edward at all.

In fact Edward seemed sadder now, and a bit... subdued. Fullmetal would never admit it but Roy knew that Ed actually enjoyed their little battles. It gave him a sense of satisfaction, being able to one up the Colonel.

Roy thought about it. Maybe getting his rants back would bring the old Edward back. Maybe it would help him look happier. And a happy Edward meant everyone else was happy too.

That settled it. With another grin, he said,

"Where do I sign up?"

* * *

I noticed that in the first chapter Edward's feelings and thoughts were like constantly changing, so I apologize for that. I'll keep practicing and hopefully improve! I actually revised that chapter and this chapter all over sooo.. hopefully it's better now. Please give me any advice, I'd very much appreciate it and Review!

Oh and for those of you who are Junjou fans and don't know yet, it's been said that December 20th an OVA will be released, so lets keep our fingers crossed that it comes through!

Oh and also when I was writing that scene about Maes clinging to Roy, I kept expecting him to scream out, "Kamijou! My sweet honey!" Picture Usagi-san when he clung to Misaki's brother Takahiro, and Miyagi being his usual perky self. Yeah I just love Junjou. For of those of you who haven't seen it yet but enjoy Male X Male sexy goodness, you should totally check it out! And remember:

"Only you can prevent Wildfires!"


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so I'm starting school soon so I might update late, that being said if I get good reviews I will update more often.

Warnings: No Beta, YAOI

Disclaimer: Don't own FMA cuz if I did I'd be happy and we can't have that...

Please R&R

* * *

Edward **hated **parties. With the exception of the vast quantities of food, they were a complete and utter waste of time. That being said, this party had to be the worst he'd ever experienced.

First off, the party was in honor of his brother and him, which pretty much guaranteed that everyone's focus -at least in the beginning, before anyone got drunk and rowdy- would be on him. And that was not okay.

Edward didn't like attention. It only caused emotional and physical pain. Already his ass had been pinched about twenty-three times and he'd been asked to dance by thirty-six strangers, half of which had been male.

Then, there was the fact that Winry was latched onto him, completely oblivious to Alphonse's feelings as she clung to Edward and asked him to dance.  
Everytime Winry touched him, he would see this expression on his brother's face, like all he wanted to do was jump off a cliff and into a rocky death. Edward flinched every time he saw that expression.

Hurting Alphonse was like hurting himself. Everytime he saw his brother's eyes get watery, every time Alphonse had to force a smile he felt it with every inch of his soul. Like hot glass tearing through his body. He'd caused his brother enough pain. Every time he saw that look of suffering on his brother's face, it was like having his arm and leg ripped of again. All he wanted to do was go and get hurt, he felt like he should have to experience every ounce of his brother's pain, double the pain, to even consider being happy himself, especially since he was the cause. Every bit of his brother's suffering, every ounce of his brother's pain had been his fault and now with every touch from Winry, he was carving new cuts into his brother's already too damaged soul.

"Common, Edo dance with me-e-e!" there she was again. Winry's arms were attached to his waist, clinging hard. This was the fifteenth time she'd asked him to dance. He'd managed to escape each time, but she just kept coming back.

Winry was too drunk though and her hold on Edward began to loosen. Edward took that chance to escape. He quickly dashed left, in hopes of finding a buffet table or at least somewhere to hide, only to slam into the body of his younger brother.

Alphonse was now the same height as Edward, and as he recovered from his fall, Edward felt himself shiver, something bad was about to happen.

"Brother, why don't you dance with Winry?"

Edward, was not afraid of a many things. He could face the homunculi, scar, and even Colonel Roy Mustang if he was really pissed, but there were a few things that Edward Elric was truly afraid of; Milk because anything that comes out of a cow's utters was just wrong, Winry's wrench because it had caused him many a concussion, and his brother Alphonse's wrath. Alphonse was a pretty calm boy, in fact he was somehow always in a constant state of peace, so when he did get riled up Edward knew it was time to run.

"A-Alphonse, wh-what are you doing here?" Edward asked his voice faltering as he slowly but surely made his way away from Alphonse.

"Your not seriously ignoring my question." Alphonse said with a smile. "Right, Brother?" he then flashed Edward his ice smile. It was capable of freezing any man in an instant. This was the third time Edward had received it since being in the other side of the gate and it still never failed to make him tremble. It was like Riza Hawkeye on steroids.

Edward was running now. He didn't want to know what would happen was just about to escape when a hand wrapped around his wrist and yanked him back. For a second he was sure his arm would be wrenched out of its socket, but thankfully everything was fine.

"Brother" Alphonse's grip on his wrist was tightening, "you will ask Winry to dance, and you will try your damn best to make sure she feels like a freakin princess on the dance floor, in fact you will spend the rest of the night doing your utmost best at making sure that Winry gets everything she wants today. This may be our party, but you will dedicate it completely to her." then Alphonse flashed his smile again, this time showcasing his canines,  
"Clear?" he asked, his tone making it clear that there was really only one answer.

"Crystal" Ed said his voice coming out as a squeak, all high-pitched and cracked, and when Alphonse moved to approach him Edward flinched.

Edward really didn't like this new sadistic side of Alphonse.

Alphonse just continued smiling his eyes twinkling with amusement as he walked away.

Winry approached him again. She appeared even drunker than before.

Remembering his brother's threat he quickly pulled Winry on to the dance floor and tried not to cry out in pain. Her feet were crushing his toes underneath her new heels which left her eye to eye with the new slightly taller Edward.

"Yunno Edward" she hiccupped, I don't know what they see in you!" she leaned in her mouth pressed against his ear as her feet continued to squash his now throbbing toes, "You're kind of an ass! Like... The king of asses!" Ed silently thanked the nightclub Gods for the loud music that prevented people from hearing Winry's loud cries.  
"and, and I was thinkin right, and I was talkin to Alphonse." she paused then as if thinking things over "and I asked him if he liked me and... And he..." she started crying then silent tears rolling down her cheeks. "he said he didn't! He said that he knew I liked you so I should ask you, but I don't like you. I mean I like parts of you! The Alphonse parts, yunno th parts of you that are like Alphonse. The nice parts, the kind parts" she seemed to trail off as she stared at something Edward couldn't see before she quickly returned to the subject at hand, "but your like... like... my brother!"

She wars rubbing at her eyes know, "B- But if Alphonse doesn't want me then I thought I could fall in love with you."

Edward couldn't believe what he was hearing, and people thought he was the dumb one. "Alphonse loves you, why didn't you just confess to Alphonse?" he asked, trying to make his voice soothing in order to avoid any more hysterics.

Winry seemed to think it over, then her face changed into one of rage.  
"He... said he didn't like me!" she cried, her voice louder than even the music now, "He rejected me!" she sobbed her whole body quivering as she tried to hold in her feelings. Okay, so Winry was a sad drunk. Edward needed to get her to stop crying before his brother pummeled him.

Edward couldn't take it anymore. He was solving this once and for all. He couldn't believe he was going to have to play match maker.

He grabbed Winry and started looking for Alphonse. At first Edward thought his brother had left, but then he spotted him. His brother was sneaking out, already halfway out the door of the club. Edward followed him out, bringing with him a very intoxicated and very sad Winry.

The air outside of the club was cold. The night dark, Alphonse's body could barely be seen walking away. Edward quickly hid Winry behind one of the cars parked on the street with a quick order to shush.

"Alphonse! Wait!" he yelled, his legs already running to catch up with his brother.

"B- Brother!" Alphonse said, his front still turned away from Edward, he seemed to have returned to his usual sweet self.

Edward was really quite amazed at how quickly Alphonse changed personalities, and if he wasn't completely terrified of one of them he would totally have investigated.  
"I thought I told you to stay with Winry?" Alphonse said, his tone already changing into that of his sadistic alter ego.

"Alphonse, I'm tired of this." Edward sighed, as he ran his hand nervously through his hair, "I have... already hurt you so much, I've taken so much from you; your body, your humanity, your childhood. I... don't want to take Winry from you too."

Alphonse looked startled, then he laughed, a low laugh without any amusement.

"It doesn't matter. Winry wants you not me. You can't take her from me if she's not mine. Anyway, you always do this!" Alphonse seemed to have gained some steam, he stepped up to Edward and fisted his hands in Edward's shirt, "You assume you're to blame for anything and everything and you want to protect me, but brother, don't you think I feel the same way? I want to protect you too brother, I want you to be happy and if that means having to see you with Winry so be it!"

"So you admit it! You do love her!" said Edward, making sure to speak loudly enough for Winry to hear.

"It doesn't matter!" Alphonse finally yelled, as his hands reached up to grab at his short hair, he was finally starting to lose his cool, "Of course I love her, she's Winry, she was the only thing I was willing to fight you over, but... but she loves you, not me! It doesn't matter that I live for her, that I would do anything to get her to feel the same way I feel, that every time I see you two together I want to slam myself against brick walls because at least then I would be too focused on the pain to think about anything else. You and Winry are the two people I love most and that means that for the sake of your happiness I'm willing to do anything! Even if it means giving up my own!" Alphonse's face was red and as he took in what he'd just said he seemed to deflate into himself.

Alphonse finally turned, exhausted, "I... I have to go-"

"You love me?" the voice came from behind the car and both Alphonse and Edward froze as Winry stepped out from her hiding spot. The shock momentarily overpowering the effects of the alcohol. She seemed prettier Edward thought, with that expression on her face, a cross between disbelief, shock, and hope.

Alphonse, though stood stock still, and when he turned to look at Edward his face was livid, "You had no right, brother!" he yelled, and this time he stormed off towards the club with Winry following after him.

Edward stood still for a moment, then headed into the bar after Winry. He sighed, life was not going well for him lately.

He'd thought the drama was over now that he'd returned from the gate, but instead now it was worse. He couldn't punch love into submission. He couldn't fight against the emotions of the people around him. He had no way of dealing with this new emotional drama.

His brother was mad at him, Winry was drunk and in no condition to start a relationship, and worst of all Roy Mustang was walking towards him and Edward was definitely not in the mood.

Edward was just about to make a run for the exit when Maes' eccentric nature finally came in handy as he tackled the Colonel and dragged him to the back of the bar.

Edward sighed, he needed a drink, but he had to go to work tomorrow and he didn't want to show up with a hangover. That was the last thing he needed. Why Winry had thought Sunday was a good day for on open bar party he would never know. Still, as he looked at the anxious faces of Alphonse and Winry he walked toward the bartender to ask for some Vodka.

* * *

I was gonna go with a different drink but then I thought of Russia so Vodka it is. I'm super exited because One of my favorite fanfiction writers is back and she's writing plot twisters like there's no fuckin tomorrow. Agh! I think I'm in love. So I was thinking that I woudn't update untill I got reviews but this was ready and I didn't wannt to be asn ass sooooo... Still can I pretty please get reviews? PLEASEEEEE! I appreciate the follows and favorites but please people I need some feedback to soothe my wounded self esteem. I know my work is shit, but a little white lie never hurt anyone, right? Right?

I'm so sorry about how weird Alphonse is being and I apologize if it was OOC but I thought that it was understandable that the brother's would change as a result of their stay on the other side of the gate. I am truly sorry to all you Winry haters, I hate her too, so I'm sorry that she's getting screen time(no offense to pro-winry), but I wanted to get Alphonse settled and happy first well maybe, it's just Edward seems like he feels guilty and I don't think he could try to find happiness before his brother, it's one of the thingd we love about him. ]

Yeah, Maes is ALIVE! I'm so sorry for that but I know we can all just pretend that episode didn't happen.


	4. Chapter 4

Soo I'm sorry it took so long to update but i've had school and church and what not. Anywhoo... Yeah so i noticed i havent been titleing my chapters so i'll start doing that. Also i was wondering what other animes you guys are into because i need new fandoms. Shows count too, i love big bang theory and ncis but im not comfortable writing in Gibbs pov. I could never stay IC writing his thoughts. Plus writing about his sex life would be really uncomfortable. Anywhoo im babbling. Yeah so... Please review.  
I dont own fma. Do i really have to keep saying it?

Roy sat at the table in the back room. Maes Hughes was passed out in his lap and Havoc was grinding against his leg calling it Sophia while the rest of his team watched in buzzed horror.

What did he do to desrve this?

After placing his bet, Roy had sat down to have a reluctant drink. It was the only way he could get Maes of his case. What he really wanted to do though, was find Edward. He'd looked so panicked coming into the club. Still, Roy had accepted a drink and now he couldn't get away. It was already two in the a.m. and by now everyone had left the club. Including Fullmetal.

Finally after thinking it through in his head he gave up. Kicking Havoc off and shoving Maes away he got up.  
"Well, It's been fun, but I'm bored. I'm leaving." Tilting his head into his trademark smirk he stood outside the door and turned to face his team, "Don't do anything stupid, I don't want any bad news come tomorrow. As if I don't have enough paperwork." and with that he left, out the backroom and nightclub leaving his team to continue in their drunk gambling.

Roy sat at his desk, procrastinating as usual. The large stack of paperwork on his desk seemed to not only be growing but also taunting him. Calling him names and saying they'd screwed his mom. And... He was slowly going insane. Edward hadn't shown up to work today. Probably just late, thought Roy.

He wasn't worried. He was merely curious as to what could be more important than showing up to work. A mature gentleman always took care of his duties and, Oh my God he sounded like his father.

Three hours later Edward still wasn't here. Roy was sitting in the cafeteria, moving food around his plate as he listened to Havoc bitch and moan about how he needed someone to love him. God, could the man get anymore pathetic? Roy's pyro urges were acting up again. Urging him to just create one little spark. He seriously wondered what would happen if he burned Havoc's clothes off. Then deciding that seeing another man naked would probably just incite Armstrong into shedding his own clothes he quickly vetoed the idea.

Roy moved his thoughts to the bet. He still had no idea how to mess with Edward. The old tactics just didn't work anymore. Edward was the goddamn poster boy for calm rational behavior. And it was infuriating!

He could always insult Edward's brother or he could go classical and insult his mom. No, not even Roy would sink that low, plus Edward would probably castrate him for it. No, insulting Edward's family was not a good idea.

Well, Roy could always try persistance. Even the new Edward would cave if messed with repeatedly. Roy could just pester him over and over until he caved. Sighing, Roy continued playing with his peas. His hands were busy molding his food into a fort. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice the blonde firecracker when he burst through the room. Almost. Then again how could he not notice. Edward had stepped in through the double doors of the cafeteria slamming them on either side of the doorway. His face showed no emotion though, it was just as serene as always.

Roy and his team stared openly as Edward sat down with a prepackaged meal. It was even stranger when Ed pulled out a carton of milk. He didn't drink it though, he just walked over to the trash, dumped it, then continued with the rest of the meal. The rest of the meal went on with uneasy silence as he and his team tried to grow some balls and mess with Edward.

The only response Ed gave to the open staring was a blank expression and a semi raised brow. A few minutes later Roy was the only one watching Ed, all the others had given up, too intimidated to keep on looking, which was why he was the only one who caught the small, amused, almost pleased smile that grazed Ed's lips for half a second before he schooled his expression back to his usual one of calm maturity.

Okay i know its short and just a filler but i have school and a serious case of writers block. Of course if i got reviews i might actually update faster as well as actually have something happen.  
Hint Hint. Also please if u write here or on fictionpress I advise you to finish your goddamn stories. I hate reading something awesome only to realize it was last updated in 2004. Please people I'm begging here.  
Oh God I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a title for this chapter. If anyone has any ideas review or pm.


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! Update. I'm sorry to those of you who i told I'd update soon. I got depressed and busy with homework and other crap. Plus I'm sad because there are hos out there who write like Gods but the little fuckers don't want to update! But whatevs. I'm cool. Also I was pissed because NOBODY REVIEWS! Common People! What do I have to do to get reviews. I actually had this chap done for like a week, but I was so pissed at u guys that I was like screw it if they're not reviewing then obviously they don't care so they can wait. So what I'm saying is

More Reviews= Faster Updates

As always I don't own FMA. Not Beta'ed. MXM sex in future chapters. Review please!

* * *

Edward got home after the club to the soul branding image of his brother violently thrusting against his sister figure. Apparently, Winry and Alphonse had gotten home, taken one good look at each other, and proceeded to screw each others brains out. And... they had decided to do it on his living room floor and for some reason they didn't have the human decency to lock the god damn door, so as to not scar the poor impressionable mind of an innocent bystander.

But whatever. Edward could deal, this was his fault after all.

The real problem surfaced when they were finished doing the nasty on his brand new carpet.

Winry practically tackled him and began interrogating him about his temporary fling on the other side of the gate.

Edward shot a glare at his brother who only chuckled darkly and murmured, "What goes around comes around, dear brother", Edward really despised this new aspect of his brother's personality.

Of course Alphonse would get revenge, he should have seen that coming. Still, Edward's "fling" was something they had agreed never to speak of. It was a temporary lapse in Edward's judgement. And Edward blamed it on drugs and alcohol. It was drugs and alcohol, not that he'd ever done drugs and alcohol, but he was sure they were somehow to blame for his brief infatuation. He refused to talk and even think of it, knowing it would only lead to the destruction of his newfound control on his expressions. He'd end up blushing uncontrollably every time someone looked his way.

And he definitely wasn't going to let Winry or her evil wrenches make him weak. He would stand strong and take his secrets to the grave with him. So, despite the various torture tactics that all managed to incorporate her trusty wrench(her sick smile finally confirmed his suspicions that she was a secret sadist) and reassurances that this would all be over if he just told her who the fling was, Edward remained strong.

Alphonse just stood against a wall, staring amusedly as Edward struggled against a very frustrated Winry. This lasted for a few hours until Alphonse finally took pity on his older brother and decided that Edward had been punished quite enough. He sent a quick pleased smile at Edward then grabbed Winry and reminded her that Edward had to get to work.

Work! Edward had completely forgotten. Now the Colonel Bastard would chew him out. And of course the rest of the Bastard's team would spend all day trying to get him to react to some petty pranks and insults.

Still, Edward just didn't have the same reactions as before the gate. He had to fly below the radar there. No standing out, no being free to act as you pleased without any consequences. This meant he couldn't explode everytime he was called short. He couldn't get himself noticed, especially since because he wasn't able to use Alchemy he was completely vulnerable. It had been a big change for Edward, one he couldn't reverse now that he'd returned.

The impromptu interrogation left Edward thinking about the gate. About his brother, about what he'd done to him on the other side of the gate. Edward was left reliving his past, all his errors, all his sins. He felt raw, open for anyone to see all his darkened innards. The festered wounds of his mistakes. And he still had to face work.

Edward briefly considered bailing. Not just work, but life as well. Things were finally working out for his brother, and Edward felt like a huge weight was lifted of his shoulders.

Finally, knowing he would regret it later Edward got ready for work.

Work was always difficult for Edward. He still wore his old uniform. His red jacket blowing like the cape of a hero behind him. The problem was that now he noticed their stares, the whispers and rumors. It was too much attention.  
Way too much, all the staring eyes, waiting for him to mess up, so they could pounce.

It was enough to drive him insane. Then again he'd lost his sanity years ago. He'd lost it holding his mother's hand as the light died in his eyes. He'd lost his sanity when he first saw the gate. He'd lost his sanity when he'd come back from the gate and seen that his brother had not comeback with him. He'd lost his sanity bonding his brother to the armor, knowing what he'd done to his brother. Knowing his brother would forgive him. He'd lost his sanity dealing with Nina's death, dealing with his helplessness. He was such a small part in this world. Then finding out there was more than one world.

Edward punched his arm. This worked much better when he'd had a metal arm. Sighing, be blanked his mind, reminding himself that the worst parts were over. A small part of him wanted to believe it. That he was done paying, but the larger part knew he still hadn't atoned for his sins. There was only one person who could make him forget, but that person was on the other side of the gate and Edward had promised himself he would forget. Punching his arm once more and grimacing at the pain he headed to work.

His thoughts as he entered the cafeteria were on lighter topics. He was focusing on alchemy, a coping mechanism he'd been taught on the other dide of the gate, by who, he wouldn't dwell.

He opened the double doors of the cafeteria, slightly pleased at the loud thuds he heard. He didn't let that pleasure show though. His expression betrayed none of his feelings, as he joined The Bastard and his team in their usual table.

His pre- packaged meal included milk, which he quickly through away. He could feel all their eyes on him. The air in the room was tense with fear and anticipation, Edward just continued eating.

As the team members distracted themselves with other things, Edward let himself betray some emotion. Truthfully, he kind of enjoyed being able to intimidate people much older than him. Looking up just slightly, he caught The Bastard still staring at him. Mentally chastising himself for letting The Bastard see. Already he could see the hint of a smile forming at the ends of The Bastard's smile.

He stood up abruptly, knowing he couldn't keep his expression impassive if The Bastard was going to keep flashing that smile.

The attention in the room was suddenly on him again. And when Colonel Roy Mustang got up and followed him, the room practically crackled with intrigue.

God couldn't these people get lives? And couldn't The Bastard just leave him alone?

But no. The Bastard followed Edward all the way to his office. Edward sat down, hoping looking busy would save him from having to deal with The Bastard. No such luck.

"Edward, mind telling me why you're so late?"  
Edward had the urge to scream, "None of your fuckin business, Bastard!", but like always he controlled himself.

"Winry interrogated me. I couldn't get away."

"Really? The Fullmetal Alchemist couldn't take a teenage girl?"

Edward just shrugged, "Alphonse was their protecting her. He always could beat me."

"Yes, your brother could always beat you. He even beat you in height. What is he? Two inches taller than you?"  
Instead of slamming The Bastard's face against his desk like he deserved, Edward just smiled and continued signing papers.  
"I'm glad Alphonse doesn't have to deal with being called small, by Bastards like you." he responded his voice a little strained and he saw the Bastard smile almost in the end of one stack, he started with another. He really hated desk work. But no way would he admit he had anything in common with the Bastard.

"Still, I really should punish you for being late."  
Edward shivered lightly, the glint in the Colonel's eyes was a little disarming.

"Go ahead and t-try." Edward once again kicked himself for showing weakness. Especially when he could feel the Colonel's smirk.

"Well, I could make Hawkeye enforce the punishment, but I don't think you want that."

Gritting his teeth Edward looked up at him his eyes clearly betraying his annoyance and murderous intent, "What did you have in mind?"

* * *

Yay It's longer. And has actual plot. I really need reviews! From now on I'll write a chapter and I'll update early if I get five reviews. Come on people, just five!  
Pretty Please! For the children!


	6. Chapter 6

Yes I'm a whore I admit it, but I was just so busy. So again short chapter. I'm thinking of writing one shots but I'm nervous. Thank you all for the great reviews. I will post sooner next time. Maybe...

Anyway yeah don't own FMA

* * *

Edward hated the Colonel. The man was a sadist. A sadistic bastard with a God complex. And one day all of Edward's training would pay off and he'd slam The Colonel's damn head against his paperwork littered desk. He could almost picture the Colonel's head as it slammed over and over again against the edge of his desk. The sick smile that appeared on Edward's face frightened everyone in the room. They all rushed out of the room, murmuring about forgotten paperwork and leftover work. Edward didn't mind their obvious fear though, what he did mind was the sadistic fuck of a Colonel he'd been given over to.

Edward knew his punishment would be horrible, he'd expected it, but really, no one deserved this. Not even him.

He'd been sent to do paperwork for Armstrong. Armstrong who refused to wear a shirt no matter what the temperature. When he'd arrived the first day for his punishment Armstrong had quickly taken off his shirt and embraced Edward.

His large arms had wrapped around the blonde and squeezed. The biggest problem though was the fact that Armstrong seemed to give off a rosy scent. What was up with that? Some sort of weird pheromone?

Not only was Edward forced to endure never-ending stacks of paperwork on the amount of chickens one could have(it all depended on the amount of cows one had), but he also had to do it while Armstrong showcased his "perfect male figure."

Worse yet at some point the air conditioning had failed him. Apparently the military was too cheap to pay its electric bill, and since Edward was headed to hell anyway the devil decided he would be a pal and help him practice by making the building a fucking inferno.

The heat made Armstrong quickly shed his pants and shirt, temporarily blinding Edward and traumatizing him for life. Edward was forced to sit in a hot room as he watched Armsrtong prance around in tighty whiteys that left nothing to the imagination. He'd almost passed out when Armstrong had embraced him, claiming the feel of his perfect male physice would cool Edward off. Yeah, no.

Of course Edward remained calm. He wouldn't let something as small as life long trauma ruin all the effort he'd put into keeping calm. That didn't stop him from fantasizing about all the life ruining things he would do to the Colonel, of course. Death would be too kind an end for the Bastard. Not to mention the fact that somehow every one now knew about his other side of the gate fling and this meant everyone tried to bring the subject up in every conversation. If Edward wasn't completely terrified of his younger brother he would have murdered him. As it was he still considered it every time Havoc asked him about it. The man had a way of winking suggestively that creeped Edward out.

Of course this meant that Edward avoided the cafeteria at all costs. There was only so much he could take and lately even Riza had turned to the dark side. Damn those cookies! The last time he'd seen her she'd been pointing a gun at him as she asked who the fling had been. Edward had barely managed to survive by using alchemy to get her gun to melt. One of his best moments, he might add.

Today though, he had no excuse. His brother had purposely not packed him a meal and the only place in the whole building that had cool air was the cafeteria. Sometimes, Edward was sure the world was plotting against him. Somewhere in the book of life God had written, "by the way, in the end Edward gets screwed over." So now Ed reluctantly marched toward the cafeteria in what could only be described as his walk of shame and resignation. Of course you couldn't tell by the look on his face. Edward's face was twisted into an almost happy smile. Today Ed had decided to go with his, "I'm totally cool about everything" face. A face that was not easy to pull off, but worth it when you observed the result.

To say people were surprised was a great understatement. Everyone knew about his punishement and they were just waiting for him to snap. When Ed walked in with a smile on his face everyone assumed the old Ed was back and plotting. He hadn't smiled once since his return from the gate. Still, there was something odd about his expression. The happiness his smile radiated didn't quite reach his eyes. They all sat at the edge of their seats waiting for eny indication that this would get dangerous.

But while most of the cafeteria sat paralysed with fear, everyone who knew Edward could see that the underlying tension wasn't a plan to get revenge. It was the first crack in the armor he'd so well constructed. There was something about his expression though, that warned everyone to stay away. So despite the fact that he was vulnerable for the first time since his return from the gate no one messed with him. No one that is, but the Colonel.

When Roy Mustang entered the Cafeteria he immediately smirked as he caught the glare from the lights hitting Edward's hair. Edward shivered lightly as he felt someone behind him. Once again, Roy Mustang had managed to catch him by surprise.

He turned around after wiping his mouth to stare questioningly at the Colonel.

"Can I sit here?" Edward just stared, a bit confused. Didn't the Bastard know Edward was plotting his misery?

"No matter, it's a free cafeteria I'll sit where I want." Taking a seat in front of Edward the Colonel pulled out his lunch, and smirked. Edward really hated that stupid smirk.

"So... how are you enjoying your time with Armstrong?" Edward maintained the smile on his face. He would not let the Bastard goad him.

"It's just fine Colonel. A little hot but..." The Colonel frowned, his lips tilting just slightly and Edward inwardly jumped in triumph. _You won't be making me lose control._

"You know, I think it's about time I end your punishment. The amount of paperwork is insane and Riza almost murdered me twice." Edward didn't allow himself to react. There was a catch, there had to be a catch.

"What's the catch?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, you? Colonel Roy Mustang is going to let me off that easy? There's got to be something you want." Roy grinned innocently.

"Well, I wasn't really plotting anything, I was just wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner?" If Edward hadn't been keeping such a tight leash on his reactions then the Colonel would be splattered with Edward's drink.

Edward didn't react though. He simply asked, "Since when do you invite me to eat?" The Colonel again frowned.

"Well... I'm curious about the other side of the gate, you like food, and I'm not so bad a cook." Edwars just stares at him. Roy Mustang could not possibly be asking him out.

"Don't you have a date or something?" Ed tried. He really did not want to spend time with people from work. Especially not the Colonel.

"No, I canceled them for you. Come on, tomorrow instead of going home I'll take you to my place. I'll even cook whatever you want." Edward briefly thought thaty Roy Mustang sounded like a pedophile.

Edward really shouldn't. Who knew what the Bastard really wanted. No way was he just curious about the gate. But Ed really wanted to see the Colonel's home. And he wanted to test the Bastard's cooking. He was too damn curious about his superior to let the opportunity slip up. Curiosity killed the cat and now Edward was about to die as well. And while something deep inside him warned that this was a **really** bad idea Edward realized he was too caught up in the Colonel's manipulative tactics to say no.

"Stew and pie."

* * *

Progress! Somewhat...


	7. Chapter 7

Yes Yes I know I'm a whore, but I had homework plus I'm working on a Hetalia oneshot so... yeah. Anywhoo, no yaoi yet, but soon... I promise... maybe...

Don't own FMA

I wanna thank Red Panda Alchemist though who's always so generous with reviews. Here a plot bunny for you:

( \ / )

( 0_0 )

(") _ (")

I really want to thank everyone for reviewing though, I know I'm annoying and whiny but once again I have to say: Read and Review! For the children!

* * *

Roy was panicking. He didn't even know why. He'd left everything prepared beforehand, vegetables already cut and in plastic bags, meat cut into chunks, and a pre-prepared pie ready for the oven. All he needed was to cook them after work, which would give him some time to tease Edward. He'd planned everything out perfectly, so he didn't know why he was so nervous.

It's not like Edward was one of his dates. He didn't need to worry about getting laid tonight, still he felt like he needed to impress Edward.

It was just because Edward would never let him live it down if he failed, argued Roy. Some small annoying part of him though, kept whispering,

"Liar! You want to impress him!", he paid that small part of him no mind and just stared at Edward, who he'd ordered to work in his office.

Edward had seemed wary at first, watching Roy from the corner of his eye and yet still managing to complete his work efficiently. When Roy made no move to harm him though Edward relaxed. Somewhat.

Roy could still see the underlying tension in Edward's body. The way his muscles were coiled as if ready to jump into action at any given moment.

Roy rested his head in his hands as he watched Edward work on his own paperwork. He remembered the small glint of annoyance that had appeared momentarily in Edward's eyes when he'd shown him the stacks. Roy new Edward hated paperwork almost as much as he did. He also knew Edward would never admit they had something in common though. It was kind of cute.

After a few minutes Edward must have felt Roy's stare because he turned and looked at Roy with a 'What do you want?' expression on his face. Roy could almost feel the unspoken Bastard at the end of that look. He smirked and watched as Edward almost imperceptibly huffed. Maybe getting Edward to lose control wouldn't be so hard after all. Edward was already showing cracks in his armor.

Edward stared at Roy for a few more seconds before turning back to his work. Roy continued staring. Edward kept taking his pen to his lips while reading the paperwork. The pen was covered in little bite marks and Roy wondered idly if it was the same pen from the library. He almost felt sorry for it, having to take all that abuse from Edward, then again the pen did get to be between Edward's lips, so maybe it didn't mind. Roy paused, a look of horror crossed his face as he went over what he'd just thought.

"Colonel, will you be staying a while longer or are you ready to go?"

"Huh?" Roy turned to look at the door, standing there was Hawkeye. Roy hadn't even heard her come in. What the hell was wrong with him. He was never unaware of his surroundings.

"Are you alright Colonel, you look like you've seen a ghost."

Roy shook his head, "I'm fine. Just a bit... distracted."

Hawkeye flicked a glance at Edward, "Yes I can see that." Roy blushed and he thanked the lords Edward wasn't paying attention to their conversation, or at least he wasn't watching their conversation.

Before Hawkeye could question him and before Edward looked up Roy searched his brain for what she'd said.

"I won't need a ride today Hawkeye. I'll drive myself."

Roy paid no mind to Hawkeye's small grin. She was probably thinking of guns. There was no way she could know he'd invited Edward over to his house.

"As you wish."

After she left Roy returned to his worries. Roy decided he just needed sleep and a woman. Yes some sexy trainee with daddy issues. They were always so eager to please and Roy definitely needed to be pleased. He'd find a blonde, yes he liked blondes. He'd always liked blondes... Blond WOMEN of course...

He'd just get Edward to crack and then he'd find himself a nice hardbody to fuck into oblivion. Yeah... That's exactly what he would do.

"Are we leaving?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah...", nice Roy. Real smooth.

After fixing the paperwork into a neat little pile (actually it was quite a large pile) Edward got up and stretched. The bones in his body popped and made Roy cringe lightly.

Edward walked out of the office and headed toward the parking lot where Roy kept his car, Roy followed after him silently. Edward seemed to know exactly where they were going and Roy smiled as he thought of a new way to tease the boy.

"Aww, how cute you know where my car is. Be carefull though. I don't really mind, but other people get upset when you stalk them."

Edward didn't react obviously, but Roy still managed to catch the light blush that momentarily dusted Edward's cheeks. How Edward managed to reign in a blush he would never know.

"Yeah, you would know wouldn't you. Don't flatter yourself Bastard, I saw your car when I came in to work." Roy smiled.

"How did you know which one was mine?"

Edward sighed, "I've seen you driving it. How could I miss such an ugly piece of junk?"

Roy was appalled, his car was a classic! "You're one to talk Fullmetal. I've seen the cars you transmutate, they look like Satan himself shit them out."

"Whatever."

Edward murmured something about people not seeing art even if it bit them on the ass and Roy smiled. Edward seemed to be getting comfortable around him. He would use that to his advantage. After all, he still had a bet to win.

Roy increased his stride, so he could walk along Edward.

"So how's your Winry problem going?"

Edward turned to look at him. His expression as always, blank.

"It's been taken care of."

"I see. So are you marrying her?"

"Hardly. She's in love with Al."

Roy looked at Edward. He had already turned away. Was he upset? Roy couldn't tell.

"Well, he does always beat you."

Edward looked at Roy again. They'd already reached his car. Roy smirked at him. Edward looked as impassive as ever. Roy didn't get it. How could Edward look, so on the brink of cracking one moment and then suddenly return to his calm and collected attitude the next? How could Edward even maintain this new personality? He used to be the poster boy for thoughtless, careless behavior. It was one of the things that made him who he was, and now here he was unemotional and careful. Taking in his surroundings before speaking and acting, never letting even an ounce of his emotions show. If anything Edward looked... sad.

Roy opened the door for Edward then quickly jumped in the car himself and headed towards his house.

"So, Alphonse and Winry, are you jealous?"

Edward looked out the window. Damn! Not even a twitch.

"I'm glad he's finally found some happiness. After all he's been through he really does deserve it."

Roy didn't like Edward's words, even though he didn't give anything away Roy knew what he was thinking.

Edward had always had a darkness inside him, a dark cloud that showed itself only a few times, and only to certain people, but since his return from the gate it seemed to have increased tenfold. He'd need to talk to Alphonse about it. Roy kept his eyes on the road and suddenly his voice was completely serious.

"You deserve happiness too, Edward."

This time, Roy didn't catch what Edward whispered.

Roy wanted to continue the conversation, wanted to say something that would make Edward smile. A real smile, not the fake one he sometimes wore at work, but something in his gut told him he shouldn't. Any more questions and Edward would surely pull away. The rest of the drive was spent in silence.

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Once again, yes I know I'm a whore. How else am I supposed to get you to keep coming back?


	8. Chapter 8

So… it's been a long time, I will beg you to forgive me as I use my iPod to write and my iPod has magically disappeared. It was probably Sparlock the mage warrior. Anywhoo… you can all post hateful reviews I deserve it.

As always I don't own FMA

Warning: Yaoi, language, bad writing

* * *

Edward was not ready to do this.

He was not ready to do this again. He did not even know why Mustang had asked him out, obviously Edward was headed toward a torture dungeon.

What was with Mustang lately? The random mood swings, odd smiles, and even weirder tones. Then he let Edward get off early on a punishment, followed by whatever this dinner thing was.

Oh god, Mustang had been abducted by aliens, this was obviously a drone sent in to steal his brain. He was probably taking him to some remote location where they would never find his rotting carcass.

Edward turned his head slowly towards Mustang, they'd been driving in silence for quite some time, and if Edward wasn't completely terrified of the monotone expression on the Colonel's face he'd appreciate the quiet. Nothing, the colonel's expression betrayed nothing, and what was up with the random heartfelt conversation earlier? You deserve to be happy too Edward? Yeah fucking right.

No, obviously this wasn't the real Mustang. The real Mustang was probably hanging upside down in some gelatinous substance while random hula aliens tried to give him tah-tahs. Oh god that would soon be his fate!

No, no Edward calm down, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, one where you don't get tah-tahs. Mustang is probably just going through a mid-life crisis or something. Yeah, yeah he probably just wanted to feel young and so he decided to hang out with Edward. Edward could live with that, in fact Mustang wasn't the stupidest tree in the forest; he might actually be a decent conversation partner. He might even shed some light on fire alchemy; in fact Edward was really curious about Mustang's cooking skills. If he sucked, Edward could hold this over him forever.

"So… are we there yet?" Edward could almost hear the whine in his voice and he quickly controlled himself. He was not excited.

"No. If we were there I'd be stopping." Bastard

"Well, no need to get huffy."

"Huffy?"

"Yes, huffy. Are we close at least?"

"Yes, in fact we're here." Stupid Bastard

Edward stepped out of the car and stared at Mustang's house. Well, mansion was more like it.

"Why the hell do you need such a big place? It's only you living here right?"

Mustang looked back at him as he unlocked his door,

"It's to entertain visitors"

"You mean all your late night booty calls?"

Mustang gaped at him before continuing,

"Visitors"

What, had that seemed too open? Mustang was acting just as normal as before, maybe he hadn't noticed. Just, there was something about Mustang that made him drop his defenses. No, he wouldn't make that mistake again. The last time he'd let the world see into his mind he'd faced dire consequences. He wasn't willing to take that chance, not after the last time.

"Hey Mustang where's your bathroom?"

"End of the hall to your right."

This house was really way too big. Then again with all the different women the Bastard took his bed he probably didn't have time to change his sheets. Edward walked in to the tastefully arranged bathroom, everything was in order. It reeked of abandonment. Edward guessed the Colonel hadn't had someone over in a while, or at least they hadn't used this bathroom. Edward took a minute to compose himself. He was good at distractions, so good in fact sometimes he distracted even himself, but now alone in this unused room it all came back to him. All the reasons he couldn't share his emotions. He walked over to the sink and let the water run. Briefly he considered disappearing again. Winry and Alphonse were all taken care of; there was no reason for him to stay.

Then again, Colonel Bastard would never allow it, plus he needed to make sure his little brother didn't fuck up somehow. No, he had to stay, if only for a while.

He splashed water on his face, and took note of the bags under his eyes, the dull look in his eyes. He had thought coming back home would rid him of the knowing deep within his stomach. The pain he felt waking up each morning, and realizing he had to live with himself one more day.

Yes, he was tired, yes, he was sad, but there was no need to have everyone find out and feel sorry for him. He resolved himself to keep up the façade, at least while in public, so taking a deep breath he walked out to deal with whatever it was Mustang was doing.

* * *

Yeah I'm sorry again for the long wait, the short chapter and any other complaints you have. Blame Sparlock.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey sorry for the wait. I have not and will not give up though! I'm just insanely slow. I beg your forgiveness. Don't own fma, bla, bla, bla.

* * *

Edward really hated the Colonel.

How the hell could he be this great a cook? It doesn't even make sense he's a single man living alone! There was no person alive who's stew could hold a flame to his mother's, and yet the Colonel's might have been better.

It had to be the fire alchemy. The fact that his kitchen would obey his heat commands. There was no other logical explanation. God if the colonel turned out to be good at anything else he was going to go insane.

First, as soon as he stepped out of the restroom his legs decided to fail him, causing an epically pathetic fall, complete with flailing arms and a less than masculine squeal. Luckily Colonel Bastard had quickly rushed to the scene rescuing Edward from a spectacular face plant.

So while Edward played the part of a damsel in distress the Bastard Colonel beamed with the pride of a knight in shining armor.

Followed by the hard candy Edward proceeded to choke on and the once again rescue by a certain devilishly handsome Colonel. Not that Edward thought the Colonel was handsome, but some people, in a certain light, might suggest that the Colonel wasn't exactly an ogre.

Edward couldn't take much more of the Colonel's finesse.

Thankfully this visit would only last for a few more hours. All Edward had to do was endure a few more minutes of small talk, and perhaps if he tried hard enough he might even make it a full ten seconds without a need for rescue.

Most of the meal had been spent with Edward stuffing his face while the Colonel watched on with amused interest. Apparently the Colonel had already enjoyed an early dinner and was content with just watching Edward. Never mind the fact that it was the Colonel who had invited him to eat in the first place, of course the Bastard wouldn't eat alongside Edward. No, the Colonel was too cool for that. But Edward wasn't complaining. He was simply glad the colonel was no longer being nice and sensitive as it freaked him the fuck out.

So Edward began slightly lowering his guard thinking maybe this visit could go on without any more big events. But the colonel had other ideas.

"So, Edward... Are you still a virgin?"

Edward choked on his spoon.

"Wh- what?"

"Well, seeing as how you're now an adult and by the looks of the female staff a rather attractive one at that, plus the fact that Winry seemed to think that you'd be a good husband... I assumed maybe you'd sealed the deal with her and were finally a man. Tell me Edward did you lose it on the other side or was I right and Winry popped your cherry. Come on Fullmetal who'se the unlucky girl or guy…?"

Edward seemed to have recovered a bit though he continued to cough frequently and had to clear his throat to speak.

"I don't see how it's of any concern to you."

"Well you are my subordinate, and I happen to be incredibly curious."

Edward looked at the Colonel with unguarded confusion and suspicion.

The colonel continued, "Plus if you don't tell, I'm just going to continue to ask and I might even ask your dear brother Alphon-"

"God, fine okay just shutup!" The Colonel's face lit up with a shit eating grin and Edward realized he'd just broken the oath he'd made not two hours ago.

"I-" Edward began and was saved by the bell or ring in this case. Edward broke out into blessings directed towards whoever was on the other line of the receiver. The Colonel walked over to the phone.

"Hello?"

Edward was more than glad for the break and quickly wondered how he could possibly get out of this mess. Well it was not like anyone was forcing him to stay. He could just go and then he wouldn't have to deal with that insidious Colonel Bastard and whatever was going on with his brand new-

"Fullmetal, it's for you."

Edward's head tilted sideways in confusion but he dutifully stood up reaching for the phone. His brother's voice was on the other end.

"You need to stay at the Colonel's."

"What? No."

"Yes, me and Winry sort of broke the house."

"Oh god, I did not need to know that. Well I can just stay at a hotel."

"No, have you checked the weather? There's a storm, there's no way Winry will let you damage her automail because of a simple storm, so just grow some balls and wait it out."

"What makes you think the Bastard will even agree with that? In case you haven't noticed, he kind of hates me."

Edward watched the colonel roll his eyes.

"Let me talk to him."

"What? No I haven't agreed to this."

"Let. Me. Talk. To. Him."

Edward forced himself not to shiver. He was not intimidated by his younger brother; he'd simply decided that handing the phone over to the colonel was the best course of action.

"Yes?" The Colonel looked so calm there and Edward cringed when he saw the Colonel grin once again. Turning toward Edward the Colonel replied

"Of course he can stay. As long as he wants. Want to talk to him? No alright then Alphonse. Say hello to Winry." And the phone clicked.

The sound was the most frightening sound Edward had ever heard.

* * *

Again sorry it's short! I know I suck! .


	10. Chapter 10

Edward Elric was officially worried. His brother knew he didn't have his automail anymore, so what had he meant by mentioning it? Was it some kind of code? If so, what could it mean? Was his brother in trouble? Should he call back? Or maybe his brother meant that some old problem had come back again.

There was no way. They'd left all of their problems on the other side of the gate. There was a way to solve this, but Alphonse would probably get mad at him for interrupting if it was nothing. But then again what if it wasn't nothing? He wouldn't fail his brother ever again.

He would risk it.

* * *

This will be the shortest chapter ever, but don't worry I'm doing a double post.


	11. Chapter 11

Roy watched as Fullmetal's eyes shifted. His expression changed constantly and the Colonel almost got whiplash from trying to keep track. What was going through the Alchemists head? Roy would give anything to know.

He didn't have to wait long as he saw a resolution form in the Fullmetal's eyes. He walked with his head held high towards the Colonel and offered his hand as if asking for something.

"May I use your phone?"

"You're not looking for a hotel are you? I told Alphonse you could stay he-." Something in the man's eyes made Roy pause. A steely determination that seemed to radiate like golden fire and Roy realized for once and for all that gone was the boy he's met all those years ago and in his place stood a man. He handed the phone over and stepped away. He watched Fullmetal through new eyes as he dialed a number and waited.

Edward was all business as he talked into the phone and Roy was again shocked by his maturity.

"No I just-

"Well I'm sorry but I had to make sure-  
"Bye"

Edward's eyes looked haunted as he turned toward the Colonel.

"I have to go."

* * *

Short again. I can't help it, but the story is developing.


	12. Chapter 12

Edward ran through the streets, his hands joined over and over creating small transmutations to get him home faster. The person on the other line had not been his brother. The person on the other line had been far too nice. His brother's personality had taken a turn for the cruel lately and the person on the other line had been far too friendly.

Edward stopped outside the house, it was indeed a little worse for wear, but nothing looked outright dangerous. Still, Edward proceeded with caution. His steps were silent as he entered his home. The lights were all off with the exception of his brother's room. He walked slowly toward the room, his hands at the ready.

The door thankfully didn't creak as he slid it open. He looked around and found his brother lying on the ground, his head on Winry's lap. She looked up, her cheeks were tear-stained and her eyes red.

"This isn't Alphonse."

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R & R please? Also sorry for the cliff hangers and shortness.


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